La la la love story-ish, pt. 2

sooooooooooooo..... finally a continuation of this post.

I went to D's bday party.  Back in the day he lived in a casita guest house behind a larger house he sat for 9 mos out of the year.  I didn't know this at the time, and thought that the main house (where the party was) was his actual house. I remember thinking he had a worldly decorating style and was really impressed that there was quinoa and organic foods in his cupboards...ehhh wrong.

Summer 2005

Anyways, went inside, super nervous, he was nervous, I shook hands, I looked around and didn't know anyone, said I could only stay for a bit but wanted to say hi, and suggested that we take a Happy Birthday shot of Jack Daniels (to ease the nerves).  I ended up staying a long time and somehow spent almost all my time in the kitchen, chatting with D and meeting his friends and family.  I remember standing in the kitchen and realizing he was a lot shorter than I remembered and I shouldn't have worn my platform flip flops.  I slouched while we talked. He only left me once to go to the bathroom, and I was so shocked that he stuck by me the entire time instead of joining his party.  Eventually he mentioned that he lived in the guest house and I went with him to 'get the tour.'   There were a few people in there, but we didn't notice.  He was pretty drunky drunk by then and kept asking "Why are you here?  Like I thought you wouldn't come.  And you never talk to me at work...why are you here?  Like I'm really glad you're here...but just surprised" etc etc etc.  I think I admitted that I had a crush on him and one thing led to another and we had a very sweet first kiss. I remember telling him he was missing out on his party and all his friends were going to be mad that he was MIA, but he said he would much rather be with me :) I left shortly after (I had a test the next morning) and he walked me to my car.  He invited me to hang out the next night and made me promise that I would call him when I got home.

the first birthday of mine that we celebrated together Oct. 2005

D's birthday 2006 and almost our 1yr anniversary

back in the days of disposable cameras

I saw him at work the next day and it was soooo awkward.  He kept trying to hold my hand in the break room in front of other people, and I kept putting my hands in my pockets because I didn't want anyone to think I was another one of Dave's "ladies."  Oh gosh.  We hung out later that night.  We chatted in his hot tub for a while and I kept thinking to myself  "seriously, first date and he's already got me in a bikini?"  Then he did the unthinkable...."So, Rachel...."  I was barely clothed, in a hot tub, and he didn't even know my name?  I had visions of just getting up and leaving right then and there.  But I stayed...I gave him a second chance and stayed to watch a movie and ended up staying the night (no! no hanky panky AND I slept in my bathing suit!) hehe.  And don't think I let him get away with calling me the wrong name!  No!  I sternly corrected him and still remind him about it to this day.  He even calls me Rachel sometimes, because he knows it KILLLLLS me.

Halloween 2006?

The next day he took me to meet his mom (to pass some "mom test" I presume), and then later that night we watched North Shore.  During the movie I hinted that I was kinda seeing other people and he took the leap and officially asked me to be his girlfriend because he thought this was something special and he didn't want to lose me to someone else (feminists would not be pleased with this statement, but I thought it was cute).

first trip to Cali for my birthday - Oct. 2006

And that was that!  Happily ever after!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!                 NOT.

There were enough good times to get me hooked, and enough bad times to make me question my sanity.  We would be on top of the world, and every three or four months, D would have an emotional crash and burn.  I never ever gave up and for whatever reason, kept telling him and myself, "I'm not saying we are going to be together forever, but I believe that for this time in my life, we are supposed to be together."  It was just me being stubborn (I've always been the one to dictate the course of my relationships) and living with a big case of denial.  But I loved him and felt like I knew him better than anyone else and that okay, you can't change a guy, but he can most definitely change himself, and I would give him something worth changing for.  It worked!

I tell D all the time, we definitely would not be where we are now if we didn't learn from the lessons in our past and we are much better off because of it.  Get all the big drama out in the open early on so that you aren't dealing with it later on and so you have a completely clear picture of the person you are with and don't find out when it's too late.  We have both grown up and matured and become very committed people and now that all that drama is behind us, it is smooth sailing :)  Part of me does miss the youth of the old days though, sharing a twin sized bed, playing video games, scraping by with almost empty bank accounts, driving broke down cars, D working as a lifeguard, me a nanny, studying at flying star, having house parties, ditching classes, being carefree...but all those things have been replaced by ONE even better thing:  "OUR."  Our house, our dogs, our decisions, our things, our families, our trips, our time, our friends, our future...Life is good.

Here's to six years!  Huzzah!  Huzzah! 

la la la love story-ish, pt. 1

okay okay, sooooooooooooo.......

Let's go back to Fall 2003.  I was a young, shy, little college freshman and only god knows why, but I was taking Math 121 at like 8 or 9am M,W,F.  My only stresses in life were making sure I had the right clothes, straight hair, and getting to my freaking early math class on time.  On the other hand there was this guy who would show up ten minutes late EVERY DAY.  He looked all carefree and effortless with his dark shades and big long board.  He would sneak in and then sit down with the soccer girls (or swim girls, depending on the day) who always saved him a seat.  My thoughts:  what a cocky jerk (in today's terms this translates into "douche bag").  Maybe a few times we locked eyes, and maybe walked past each other in the Dane Smith halls, but I always kept my head down and didn't invite attention...just secretly watched and judged.  I failed that class.

Something like six months later, I was working at UNM Children's Campus (fancy for 'daycare') and as I was headed to the bathroom, here comes the sunglasses/longboard/cocky math class guy who looks like he just got hired and is getting the grand tour.  He recognized me too and smiled and said something like "hey how's it going?" and I bashfully looked down, stuttered some response, and ducked into the kitchen.  That encounter set the standard for the following six months.  He would say hi or try to start conversation and I would throw a dirty look or just ignore him.  (D says he tried and tried to talk to this cute girl, but eventually gave up because she was so stone cold). Don't ask me why...it's very rude and I can't imagine behaving like that now, but back then I was seriously sooo shy, and as a young lady who had just started college, I was getting a lot of unwanted attention from strange boys, and I didn't want to invite any weirdos into my life so instead I acted like the meanest girl on the planet.

Can you believe that hair? no wonder I thought he was just another weirdo 

At this same time I was long distance dating a gentleman in Dallas and I felt like since nobody really knew he existed (because we weren't seen hanging out with friends or going to parties) that boys would make advances not knowing I had a boyfriend, so it was my job to make myself unavailable (by using my scowl face). Dallas boy and I were on and off for like a year and a half (I didn't realize it was that long! but now that I think about it...).  We would meet up every three or four months and really only communicated via email (we were both shy...gosh that seems so stupid now).  Towards the end it got kinda rocky because although there was a great spark between us, he wanted me to move to Texas, and we had a lot in common (oddly enough), he had some depression issues.  Also, things really clicked between us and I could see myself being the wealthy wife of the mayor's son, having a beautiful home, and being on the board of the country club, but who am I kidding?  that's not me at all.  I was really intimidated by the kind of money his family had and I just couldn't get over the feelings attached with that.  It fizzled.

Sometime after Dallas and I broke up, I started noticing the other blokes around me and front and center was that one guy.  He was one of the few guys that worked at the daycare and the kids and parents really liked him.  He worked with the preschool kids and they would be crawling all over him and chasing him and screaming at the top of their lungs when he hung them upside down (I would spy on him from my classroom). I started squeezing out my first words and would manage a 'hi' or 'it's going good! and you?' in passing and soon after, for some unknown reason, I became obsessed with him.  I would watch for him through my classroom windows and would "go to the bathroom" if I knew he'd be in the same area so I could run into him and exchange our little "HIs"  I also started taking my lunches and breaks at the same time as him so that I could quietly sit in the break room and could study him at a closer vantage.  He was friends with EVERYONE.  young, old, tall, short, man, woman, parent, teacher, child, janitor, kitchen lady, etc.  He seemed like best friends with the whole world and I was the complete opposite and only spoke to people if I absolutely had to. It was interesting....like a case study of socializing...and he was the subject in question.

The only surviving picture of D in action at the daycare and it's very telling of his relationship with the kids.  Please notice the cali cap, birkenstocks, and dark sunglasses.  Also, that's my classroom in the background.  I almost expect to see my face, spying on him through the window.

One day we had this freak snow storm in the middle of the day and I saw he had his kids out in the courtyard so I bundled up my poor little toddlers and headed out to join him.  He complimented me on my clogs and showed me his own Birkenstock clogs :) and asked if I had heard the soundtrack for the movie Garden State, and I said I had just downloaded it the weekend before and loved it :) and we both agreed the movie was really good, and he might have even quoted the phrase "It says BALLS on your forehead."  It was our first conversation and I was hooked.  I kept those poor children outside way too long and they were all wet and cold, but I didn't want to cut our first encounter short.  Later the center was sending people home and he was going to stay until all the kids got picked up and I have this memory of him standing in front of crying babies, waving his hands and saying "don't cry, don't cry" (he only worked with older kids, and now he was in my territory in baby land).  I showed off my skills and got them all fed and happy and he looked soooo bemused.  I replayed that afternoon in my head for the rest of the weekend.

the good old daycare days

 It's embarrassing to admit, but I even fibbed to a few of my friends about him.  I said he was going to take me snowboarding and we had hung out a few times...but I think it was just wishful thinking.  I even fibbed to him once, just to get closer.  I knew we had a mutual friend (an old hook up of mine) and I owed him money but didn't have his new phone number so one day during our break I asked Dave if he had this guy's number.  He didn't but he knew a way to get it so we exchanged numbers and he said he would call me later.  He did call me later and the conversation only lasted 30 seconds, he sounded really nervous.  "Hi, Rebecca?  This is David.  From work?"  By giving him my number, and an excuse to call me I thought it would be love at hello, but nope, he says now that he thought I wasn't interested in him since I was asking him to get the phone number of a different guy.  Alas, I called the guy, paid off the loan, and hooked up with him.

A few more months went by, and on Thursday, March 24, 2005, during our break I casually asked "what are your plans this weekend?" and he replied "well actually it's my birthday and I'm having a party tonight.  you should come!  I'll call you later today to give you directions."  I was so excited and I remember going to the mall with two of my friends and buying some new clothes and he called while I was driving home.  Another very nervous phone call "Hi Rebecca?  This is David.  David from work? Remember it's my birthday today?"  He gave me directions to his house, and it happened to be next door to a guy that I had briefly dated the year before (such a floosy right?).  What a coincidence.  I still lived at home and I remember sitting on the couch talking to my mom and her friend, and being soooo nervous about going and my mom wanted to know who this guy was, but I didn't really have much to say, I didn't know anything about him, except that I stalked him at work. I asked a few friends to go with me and they all bailed so I finally mustered up the guts to go alone.   

To be continued..... HERE.