During the year I go through patterns of health and awareness, ignorance, sluggishness and guilt, and then frustration and depression. In an effort to keep things positive more than not, I need to REALLY REALLY take control and be productive and do things that are good for my mind and body. When I consciously think about what I'm going to accomplish, eat, and how I will exercise at the beginning of everyday, I can really feel the payoff in my mood and energy level. I find myself wasting a lot of time and money on things that aren't beneficial to me in the long run, and it's all about to stop.
Unlike most people who have had their crash and burn after the holidays, I'm just now pulling out of it and am ready to commit to some New Year's Resolutions:
1. NO PROCESSED FOODS. This morning I saw
this video that really hit the point home. Our bodies are made to digest natural fresh ingredients and the more processed food I eat, the more I crave it, and I'm filling up on food that isn't meeting my nutritional needs and makes me tired and heavy. Every time I sneak through the drive thru I think, oh just one time, even though I know what kind of crazy things are in fast food (ammonia. formaldehyde. petroleum based preservatives. hormones. all masked in cheese and salt). No more. I will make healthy menu choices, I will cook fresh meals and take my lunch more often, and when I can't I will go to the nearby grocery store instead of eating fast food.
2. LESS DRINKING. Now that all the holidays, xmas parties, bachelorette parties, and super bowl are out of the way, this resolution should be easier. I have had a few 'uh duh' moments the past month telling me that drinking is a waste of money, it makes me gain weight, I get anxiety afterwards, and the next morning I waste my free time by sleeping in. For the most part we drink a lot of wine. A LOT. I'm pretty sure in December David and I shared a bottle of wine 5 or 6 nights a week. Yeah...that's $60 a week in wine. $240 a month. And that doesn't include going out on the weekends, or buying a six pack to watch football. That's precious money that I work hard for and should be spending on something that makes me happy for longer than a few hours.
3. WORK. No matter what, I have to work...somewhere. I'm not sure about the timeline on this goal, but I really really really need to find a job that is better for my mental, physical and emotional health. I was ready to start the official countdown at PRN, but now I'm getting really overwhelmed with thinking about the cost of the things I really want in the near future: wedding and Oregon. I feel trapped that in order to pay for the things that I want, that I have to be miserable 8hrs a day, but those things are really worth it to me. I'm trying not to be very black and white about this situation and know there are other options out there that will get me to the same ending point, I just have to go out and look for them. A new job requisite: normal work hours. I used to think having the mornings alone was the bomb, but I'm ready to hang up my night shift gloves and spend more time doing normal couple things with my man. In the meantime I will put on a happy face and just take the work challenges day by day and make good use of my morning hours.
4. RELATIONSHIP. Love that guy Dave. He's pretty great. I went to a bachelorette party last weekend and hearing all the other ladies talk about their husbands made me feel sooooo lucky and grateful. Of course I already am, but man, I'm so thankful that he is not a lazy dirty slob and also thankful that he almost never tells me no. He lets me do whatever I want, and he does whatever I ask. He deserves my best moods and greatest patience.
As I think more about wedding and marriage, I realize that I really would like to spend more time with him. Seems so elementary huh? Working opposite schedules and then filling the weekends with errands, trips, family and friends, we don't get a whole lot of alone time. When I see him at the end of the day I never want to talk about big heavy things because it's late, we only have a few hours before bed, and I want to be happy and make the most of our short time together, but then I feel like I never get anything off my chest and I'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. Every day this week I have been getting up with him in the mornings and eating breakfast while he gets ready for work. Of course we don't have deep conversations this early, but it is really nice just to have more face time and it gives the day a sweet feeling. I can tell he likes it. Plus it gets me up and around and keeps me from sleeping the day away.
5. EXERCISMO. As it gets warmer this goal gets easier and easier. I love being outside and the dogs are so happy when they get to go to the park in the morning. Even if I'm just walking for 30 mins a day I feel so zingy and energized. I have my p90x videos (that paralyze me), I have my lunch breaks to walk the bike path, and I am also going to start the couch to 5k running program just to get the old pumper started. Yes, I hate running and often feel like my body is attacking itself when I jog (my teeth and eyeballs and ears always hurt), but I've seen some pretty strong lady friends tackle the marathon monster this past year and what better inspiration? Also, I'm going to try and find a good yoga class a few mornings a week. The few I've gone to I didn't like the teacher, but I'd really like to start the day off with a good class.
6. PRODUCTIVITY. Life is good, the weather is good, I have everything I need, I need to make the most of it and stop wasting time on the computer and watching trashy tv. In the morning I have the tv on in the background and find myself watching really crappy shows that I would never admit to watching. Reality tv is so fake and stupid and sometimes I'll watch an episode I've already seen two or three times....why? I have no idea. We pay for cable so that I can waste my time watching reality tv daytime marathons. blurg. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Top Chef, Breaking Bad, How It's Made, Mad Men, Walking Dead, weekend movies, Bethany Ever After, the History Channel, old black and white movies, HGTV, American Pickers, etc. but I don't NEED them all the time. The cable is ending after this month and we're turning it off. We still have Instant Netflix, we "download" some HBO and Showtime shows, and I'll get on Hulu for the shows I really like, but no more daytime junk. And you know what I've been missing lately? back in the day when I didn't have cable and I would always go straight to PBS to see what was on. I never do that anymore with cable.
7. WEDDING BELLS. Gotta be positive about it. yep. At first I didn't want to talk about it, I didn't want to deal with it, and I wanted to put it off for as long as possible so I don't have to feel the eyes on the back of my head at the altar. Luckily Pinterest has eased me into wedding planning and although we still don't have any plans, I know what it will look like and what the vibe will be. It's a once in a lifetime event where our loved ones come to party, hug, smile and give their best wishes. I may change my mind again, but I'm ready to get this thing started. Ready to get married this year so that we can stop putting off the big things like moving and babies. If we wait to get married next year, then I can't start on babies and moving until the NEXT year. Dear god I'm tired of running in place and if it means getting married this year to jump start the changes, then bring it on. There's kinda've a lot going on with a lot of friends getting married and having babies this year, but I feel like I'll have the summer to do a lot of the projects I want to do and also if I have to stay at my job a bit longer to help cover the costs and vacation time, then at least it's just this year that I have to endure, and not next year as well. Also, although we are definitely getting married on a budget, I don't want to dwell on the dollar signs. It's hard not to get caught up on the cost of everything (how can people get away with charging SO much for wedding/reception services?!), but I will do my best and will do all the research to get the most for our money. It's just one day, I don't want it to blow out our bank accounts, but I do want it to be memorable. AND THEN WE'RE MARRIED!
Ok 2012, if the world ends this year, at least I will be at my best.
And if you're a Breaking Bad fan, also watch this funny 8bit video game rendition. 
